Sometimes when you shop from the shelf of someone on Goodreads you go to that shelf and hit 99% out of the park and then you will find a real kuso debu there.
What the hell did I just try to read? It was convoluted and complete crap. Continue Reading
What is sexier than sex on a stick? Sex on a stick that purrs and has momentously hugelicious control issues; in walks a manimal named Darkness and suddenly I need a shower, chocolate, intravenous injection of dilaudid and my mom talking in my ear to distract me until the hot flashes go away. From the second he was mentioned back in what, was it Moon’s book–maybe it was Shadow’s, I was all heavy in the breath for him. I love my men to be morally ambiguous; I want them to be like my coffee, black on the inside with a good dose of potential evil. Darkness isn’t called Darkness because he cuddles puppies and kisses babies; this cat likes playing with his dinner before he eats his prey. Eat me Darkness, play with me, eat me! Please mom, don’t read that! Continue Reading
Oh if I could have had a king size bar of James Reid back in the day, I’d have been socially acceptable in college. I had my own problems in my hay-days but my hazy days were not as bad as Fiona’s hazing days. It’s a long story… well actually it’s a book, but in a short summary: Fiona has decided that she is going to burn away the girl she once was in a blaze of glory in this new life known to all the normal people as higher education. At a concert where she is trying to push her way to the front row she encounters a great looking dude who challenges her rather devil-may-care stare with a try-me-sweet-thing look. This explodes into a fiery passionate hot time, in which Fiona finds herself in a locked closet with a stranger having the hottest sex of her life. Later to learn that he is the prize that she is not allowed to touch, talk to, know, acknowledge, look at, think of, or remember having ever having met due to the rules her sorority, Phi Delta Chi, have for winning a date with his magnificence with at the end of the year.
There is just one problem. James doesn’t want her to forget their interlude and he has no intention of letting her. Again, a problem I’d have given good money for during my days at Penn State. Continue Reading
Did you feel that or was I the only one who had that special tingle in my pants? Yeah, Lizzy is sorta like the JJ Abrams of books for me. She isn’t someone who I gravitate to on the basis of heart-attack-humor but she blows me the eff away with every freakin book on the side of supa-natural and paranorms. She’s got it and I get it. Once I read it, I get a tingle. Sometimes it makes me pee because it is so freakaliciously amazekittens! Other times its the deal where her men make me get excited and it’s a different wetness and tingle altogether. I’m still fanning myself over Rhyn and waving my Team Decker flag. Please don’t ask me what the hell I’m doing licking my paper doll of Nathan or petting my screensaver of Chace. I am pleading the fifth on all accounts. This is also where I’d like to make a plea for sexy men with red necklaces to come bite me. Please, Xander, come nibble me! Continue Reading
This is a do-over review; Becca Brooks is amazekittens and I wrote the original review for this book when I was at a supa-low-stress-puppy-kitten point of bad, badness. This book deserves a more coherent review. To be fair, I don’t know what the hell I was trying to say or what anything I was babbling meant when I read the first review again (It’s not there anymore so don’t look for it)… let’s thank my psychiatrist for higher dosages of happy pills so that I’m no longer crying into my pillow and my reviews are a little more in the tongue of the human species. Huzzah, Dr. Joshua Golden!
Casey Webb has had the misfortune of being the other half of a relationship that was going nowhere. By the time she figured out it had stalled, years were wasted and her other half had buried her under too many of his expectations and dreams she had lost touch with her own. Probably the biggest regret she has is that she had allowed herself to become this second class citizen in her own life while she put Nick’s need to write his epic novel first–something that was beginning to take a toll on her because she realized that the epic novel was also a need of Nick’s that sat a little higher on his list than she did. Guys suck, girls. We need more cats and martinis in our lives. Continue Reading
I have a soft spot for college romances… most of mine weren’t worthy of putting crayon to paper but I love hearing people tell me of their cray-cray years in college when they sowed their oats, hops, and every other agricultural metaphor in use to say they ran wild in the sheets! I had a special sort of wild since I was bipolar and stupid–it made me a brilliant artwork of self destruction. I was a beautiful place to visit but you had to be nucking futs to live with me. So I think I love New Adult Romances because now I’m medicated and I can read these and go, “Is that how it was supposed to go? Well, shit!”
L.A. Rose is a beautiful place to visit and I would like to live here! I’ve read the second book in this place, James Games and I have Icy Pretty Love which I haven’t read but I highly doubt will be anything less than delicious. Why is L.A. Rose a locale that is so fine? I am a self-medicator where books are concerned. I like books that pull me out of my head and take me somewhere with a little less mental and usually the ones that make me laugh get extra mileage. The start to finish L.A. Rose owns it with this book. It’s not a surface story where you are hearing something being told… she is an amazekittens storyteller that brings you into that warm, funny, awkward, smexy space where you aren’t flipping pages–you have melded a little with Cleo Reynolds and you are feeling her hesitations, hearing her whisper her reminders in your own ears, and your heart is pounding when she is talking out that next love scene to Adrian. L.A. Rose is just that damn good! Continue Reading
You know that author you love but always tangles you up in knots and spits you out with every book, do you have one of those? I do. Lexi Ryan does that to me. She’s my crack. My meth addiction. She’s my heroin. I need her and she effs me up everytime I read one of her books. God I love her… can I have her book babies? This is a dysfunctional relationship. I understand that, but I don’t want it to be right.
My favorite Thompson sister finally has her story and here, I find out she is super freaky! Lizzy is a naughty slut for the right man and her right man happens to be a man who has a few loose ends. Not to fear though because he enjoys tying his partners up, so he knows what to do when he’s at the end of his rope. Sam Bradshaw is Lizzy’s ONE, she has loved and wanted him since she had the first stirrings of loves and wants and Sam was not immune but felt that he had to wait for Lizzy to mature to an age where she could handle the games he has a taste for. In an unfortunate string of events beginning with Lizzy throwing herself at Sam during a college party and him catching her rather than taking advantage of her, she decided to spite her love and let his roommate be the rebound; this domino event is about to come to head in a shitstorm of badness that only Lexi Ryan could write to scar us all in emotional turmoil that will require therapy and pharmaceuticals. Continue Reading
Truth? When I first started this book I was circling the planet WTF, enjoying the bizarre view of ‘whaaaaaaaaaaat?’ I took a break after Gaige has his trouser python unwillingly charged by compliant mutant alien snakes, whose purpose are to viagra his boy meat into a manliness during a ceremony where he gets to lose his branch’s cherry to one of his fathers sacrificial she-males in order to make him the mythic killer of his alien people, the Deltarcs. He awakens from this misty pelvic nightmare with his weiner still attached but sadly mutilated and no longer the beauty queen it once was. He dashes through the streets making nice with homeless fashion consultants, voices in his head, and a new friend who happens to be a white mouse who can speak to him and helps guide him through the first few hours of faux freedom from his childhood innocence. He knows his evil father is still after him for his mystical dick and his mythical purpose, and a run in with his girlfriend at the beach is a brief stop that is momentarily surreal amongst all this rather awesomeness. In my mind the interaction was accompanied with elevator music like one would in a sitcom. Gaige has his fathers freaky Deltarc dogs chase him and he makes a mad caper escape killing his new rodent friend and then resurrecting him from death; they are soul-buds from this on… I paused here and told my husband about this completely bugged out book I was reading and he made me almost pee myself when he asked me if I thought the author had watched a Hentai pRon sans the volume and then wrote her own narration of what she saw. It was pretty far out there so I really was willing to give that a lot of credence at that point. Continue Reading
I have a huge fascination for true crime books & TV shows, forensics and investigation work, and the horrible court notes no one wants to read. Books like these get hard reviews because I tend to have a very low tolerance for poor crime writing, or the ability to escalate suspense in a thriller novel. The authors I enjoy in this genre are Kathy Reichs, James Patterson, Mary Higgins Clark, etc… In the chummy, crime fighting partner books: Janet Evanovich kicks it with Fox and O’Hare, and Stephanie Plum and Morelli or her and Ranger. So you have to see my bar is high and and I’m going into this book with a lot of cannabes and wonnaflies; things that just can’t be and just won’t fly.
Amish raised Hannah Grace has a sketchy suitor and at the age of sixteen a ‘No, dude–you freak me out, GTFO!’ begins a waterfall of bad events which sends Hannah into the English world to seek the answer to the mystery of where her father went missing, to give her closure, that she might one day return to her congregation. Crap, that was a long sentence. Once in the outworld she gets her GED, goes to the big peoples school and goes and gets a badge. She goes to the place where they carry a big stick, get answers and ask questions; often in that order. She has been away from her upbringing and family for ten years, and carries the insecurity, ego, guilt and pride of a sinner with each step like a true champ while self righteously holding an inner commentary on people’s squandered wealth, blasphemous tongue and turning away of the simply life by getting lost in the trappings of the common day. Just so you know Hannah, if the intent to swear is there and you use another word it is still a curse. If I commit murder and I use a knife or a gun it doesn’t matter the method it’s still murder. You can insert any word you want into the slot of a word that lowers one’s esteem or dignity; It is a curse. You still sin, you just make the word less or more creative than someone might otherwise think it is. Continue Reading
Imma lover of manimals that smell a chick and get growlerly start moaning, “Mine” like it’s a benediction and try stamping their seal of ownership on their female’s patootie with their lips. Who hasn’t had that happened to them? Really? You haven’t? Every dude I meet and date has a hairy back and likes to piss elsewhere than the toilet. I know they have to be shifters because ALL OTHER OPTIONS ARE UNTHINKABLE!
The Project is not cool. They are the big suck fest and they own anyone that has any potential amazekitteness and that includes Captain Jack Harper and his men and the one man he has that has a vagina, Nicole. Jack and his pack were conscripted to an involuntary Project Scientist Experiment with the result being that they now all need to have their mates clean after them with a pooper scooper. Everyone in Jack’s Pack thinks this is whack and they want their humanity back because being lycan is like smoking crack.
So Jack and his team end up in St. Mary’s Hospital, a care home that has been in Beth’s family for generations, her instinct tells her to touch the cray cray disemboweled soldier brought in to the super secret special military ward. The militaries there nearly amputate her for her silly almost-embrace of the dying man before sending her to her corner for time out for her poor behavior. Jack senses that the pretty human is a wolf mate and if they had touched he knows he would have ripped the arms off everyone nearby to mount the pretty clueless human who so badly wanted to pet what she has no idea of being a really big, military-made, dog-man. It’s so unsexy when I summarize it like that. Close your eyes and picture him looking like Wolverine with Iron Man’s attitude, all mussed up alá Chris Hemsworth but blood and innards showing. Then once you get that in your mind, smack some better CGI on it but go Jacob Black fighting Paul the Douchecanoe over Bella having a big dumb mouth and you get what I said the first time. Continue Reading