What is it about sports dudes that makes sports dude heroes so yummy? Let’s be fair, you, like me–I’m going based upon stereotypes, my own prejudice, and life experience–probably grew up in the library. In high school I knew sports dudes, even dated one or two but I was a nerd and a weirdo. Girls who read books and dudes who run around smacking other dudes on the butt and shower circle in different environs. Scratch that; we live in different worlds. We girls who read books live in fantasy worlds that will one day lead us to read about sports dudes. Boys who hit their heads repeatedly and run fast live in the real world where they get mad play. In high school we generally resent them for being dicks and idiots and they think we are prudish cows.

How do we get to books like Imaginary Lines from that sad origin?

Well… as we get older we find that regular fiction books alone don’t sexually complete us, we yearn for the experienced weiners who are attached to well formed dudes that have some notoriety. And why not? Makes good reading. Not to mention we live in hope that dicks and idiots can grow up and we can not just look at them but we can talk to them and keep them too.

Ali, so bitchy! Forgive John Whatever-whatever his name is already. He was not the only dude that fell asleep while on the phone with you. So what he wanted to get it on with you… he was just a dirtbag quarterback and you were a skeevy metal girl, you made sense for the two minutes you dated him in 9th grade. You were 14. It was over 25 years ago. David always buys your ice cream and fro-yo now, you don’t have to pay your own cone anymore. LET. IT. GO!

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