You know all those things that girls and women with sand in their vaginas start yelling about not liking about books like this before you can say, ‘it’s really not like that’.
‘Porn? That guy is a slut.’
‘I don’t like books where there is cheating.’
‘It’s about the sex industry!’
I’m not here to argue with you. This book is just one of the ones that I loved most this year. Read it or don’t read it, you have sand in your crotch; I don’t care! This book is far better than all that silly crap you have been wibbly lipped, schmoozing about while being boozy over wine. It’s not worth it to me to convince you to read a fan-effin’-tastic book that has an INCREDIBLEFREAKINGSTORY that has spanked me twice and called me Sally, but then got it right and called me Ali. I know that there are just some dried up, sandy vaginas that wouldn’t know a good romance if it was strongly urged for them by a well informed book reviewer. I know no matter what I say you aren’t going to suck up your wrongly assumed preconceived notions to take the chance on it.
Sit back wino, and sip your Merlot. I’m sure you can find another Nicholas Sparks book that will be to your liking. He drops those like John Green drops facts, there will be something touching and monotonous in a few–I mean Nicholas Sparks is touching and monotonous, I find Mental Floss incredible titillating.