Imma lover of manimals that smell a chick and get growlerly start moaning, “Mine” like it’s a benediction and try stamping their seal of ownership on their female’s patootie with their lips. Who hasn’t had that happened to them? Really? You haven’t? Every dude I meet and date has a hairy back and likes to piss elsewhere than the toilet. I know they have to be shifters because ALL OTHER OPTIONS ARE UNTHINKABLE!
The Project is not cool. They are the big suck fest and they own anyone that has any potential amazekitteness and that includes Captain Jack Harper and his men and the one man he has that has a vagina, Nicole. Jack and his pack were conscripted to an involuntary Project Scientist Experiment with the result being that they now all need to have their mates clean after them with a pooper scooper. Everyone in Jack’s Pack thinks this is whack and they want their humanity back because being lycan is like smoking crack.
So Jack and his team end up in St. Mary’s Hospital, a care home that has been in Beth’s family for generations, her instinct tells her to touch the cray cray disemboweled soldier brought in to the super secret special military ward. The militaries there nearly amputate her for her silly almost-embrace of the dying man before sending her to her corner for time out for her poor behavior. Jack senses that the pretty human is a wolf mate and if they had touched he knows he would have ripped the arms off everyone nearby to mount the pretty clueless human who so badly wanted to pet what she has no idea of being a really big, military-made, dog-man. It’s so unsexy when I summarize it like that. Close your eyes and picture him looking like Wolverine with Iron Man’s attitude, all mussed up alá Chris Hemsworth but blood and innards showing. Then once you get that in your mind, smack some better CGI on it but go Jacob Black fighting Paul the Douchecanoe over Bella having a big dumb mouth and you get what I said the first time. Continue Reading