I was obviously a very naughty elf this last year. I spent the week of Christmas with a crippling migraine which landed me in the ER doped up on a ton of killer drugs and on an IV. About twenty-four hours later I developed the flu from hell, within a few days I was in the ER doped up on a crapload of drugs and getting a couple IV’s. Whose book did I review that I gave such a bad review that Santa pooped in my stocking? I’m telling you… if I find out one of you is preggers and this awful nausea and evacuation of all bodily fluids is sympathy draining, you had best name the little one after me–I don’t care if it is girl, boy or bowling ball, that little beast had best be named Ali. I haven’t eaten anything but toast in five days and I had to water down gatorade. Cry. Cry. Cry. I know I’ve whinged enough now because my keyboard is wet with my e-tears. I hope you all made your wish and got a happy kitten for the start of the year. D cut me off at four kittens but he let me have all the wishes I wanted, so I wished for a whole herd of ponies.

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